Goals Archives - Doodle Therapy University

Thoughts are powerful | Change your thoughts, Change your life

by Cindy Bayles | May 18, 2020 | Doodle Art Therapy Blog, Goals, Self care

Thoughts Are Powerful

Your thoughts are so powerful they have created your life. And your thoughts will create your future!

The good news is you can change your thoughts. You hold your future in your mind!

Recently, I realized I was waking up every morning thinking “I am struggling”. Upon further observation, I realized I was using the words “I am struggling”: throughout my day. I said it ALL. Of. THE. TIME. As if it were an excuse. “I am struggling to get out of bed”,” I am struggling to eat right.” “I am struggling to get everything done.” “I am struggling to….” And on and on it went.

So why does this even matter? It’s just a thought after all!

Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life

It turns out, our thoughts control what we do. I knew this theoretically but I didn’t believe it in my soul. It feels woo-woo to me. There is nothing concrete about changing your thoughts.

I have often heard the quote:

Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny. by Lao Tzu

But I have always thought about this in correlation with being a good person. Don’t think bad thoughts so you don’t do bad things mentality. Every time it is referred to in church it is about committing sin and pornography.

In Proverbs 23:7 is says:

For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.

Thoughts are powerful

So if you think good thoughts, do you do good things?

When I think “I am struggling”, I imagine I am in the middle of a big ocean treading-water with the waves splashing in my face. Survival is my only thought. I am not trying to get to shore because I will die if I try. So, I just continue treading water in the middle of the ocean. There are waves crashing into me constantly, big ones, medium ones, and small ones. Every time I catch my breath another one hits.

No rest for the drowning

When the water calms, I lay on my back and float. I can rest. But, there is no way I could save or help someone else. Because we would both drowned. I am just barely able to keep myself alive at the moment. I see no hope that I can move out of this mess and get myself to shore. So I mindlessly tread water, in the middle of the ocean, with waves hitting me in the face, fighting for my life. Every day. Because I think “I am struggling”. A thought I repeat to myself over and over again, multiple times a day.

Because of this, my day looks like this:

Wake up: think “I am struggling.”
Drag myself out of bed.
Pray.
- Plead with God about my struggles.
- Pray and ask who I can help.
- Think “there is no way I can help anyone”.
Struggle through work.
Eat whatever I find.
Do what is urgent.
Collapse into bed.
Repeat.

Have you thought this?

That was dumb.
Why are you so stupid?
I am soooo awkward.
There is no way I could ever do that.
Nobody likes me.
I have no friends.
So and so does it way better than me.
I don’t feel loved. Go here to read how to feel more love. Hint: it has to do with your thoughts.

And on and on we go.

What if there were a different way? What if you could start moving toward the distant shore? What would that look like?

Changing your thoughts is simple and hard

thoughts are powerful

Could it be that simple? I change my thoughts and everything changes?

Yes! It is that simple. But unfortunately, it is hard to do. Some of the thoughts we think have been around for a long time. Most of our thoughts we believe to be true. It would feel strange to stop believing what you believe is true, wouldn’t it?

How to change your thoughts

Step 1:

The first step is to get all of your thoughts out on paper. Just start writing. I find it easiest to choose a subject or an emotion but the goal is to just get it all out of your head. Brain dump all of your thoughts out on paper.

Step 2:

Take a look at all of those thoughts that are swirling around in your head. Crashing like waves into you, circling like sharks around you, looming on the horizon as a storm about to burst over you.

Step 3:

Now, destroy that paper! Rip it up, burn it, whatever it takes to get rid of it. While at the same time saying that these things are not true.

Thoughts are powerful

Step 4:

It’s time to open up your journal and write down some things that you are grateful for. Fill yourself up with positive affirmations. And say at least one of those things to yourself for the rest of the day.

Step 4:

Rinse and repeat.

This is what it looked like when I changed my thoughts:

Before:

Thought: I am struggling
Feeling: Desperation
Action: I stay where I am and keep working to survive.
Result: I keep struggling and I make no progress toward not struggling.

Thoughts are powerful

After:

Thought: You’ve got this!
Feeling: Confident
Action: I take action.
Result: I begin to make progress every single day.

What????? Yep. It’s simply that hard.

What is failure? | Sinking ships don’t float

by Cindy Bayles | May 3, 2020 | Doodle Art Therapy Blog, Goals

What is failure?

My 17-year-old son, Will built a boat. Really. He built a boat out of scrap wood in our backyard. One day during this COVID-19 quarantine, he mentioned that he might want to build a boat. I shrugged and suggested that he ask Youtube for help to build his boat. (Because Youtube has all of the answers.) But he said that it would be cheating to get instructions… I didn’t expect it to go much past the initial thought of “I want to build a boat” stage. But it did. Way past the initial idea!

A few days later, a couple of his friends came over and began building their boat. They worked on it for the entire day and into the night. We went to bed expecting them to call it quits soon. But the next morning when I left for my walk I realized that all of the boys were at my house at 6 am! This was very strange. Why would 3 teenage boys be at my house working on a boat at 6 am?

So I went to investigate. It turns out, not one of them had gone home the night before! Really. It is some kind of miracle. They had worked all night long on that stupid boat. They planned to launch it that day. But there was more work to do than they anticipated. So the launch was postponed for a few days.

After much work and an unknown amount of dollars, launch day arrived a few days later.

The Launch

The epic boat launch of May 2020!

The boat was painted black, had benches for sitting installed as well as custom cup holders for the occupants. It was rather tall and I worried that the height may be a design flaw. But then I have never built a boat. They christened her “Black Hawk” and set out for their maiden voyage.

We all gathered at the reservoir to witness the launch of the “Black Hawk”. We were all curious as to how long it would take this 500-pound boat to sink to the bottom of the lake. The boys had assured me that they would bring life vests but they conveniently “forgot” them.

After some maneuvering, the boat was launched. However, there seemed to be some design flaws. The kids in the boat couldn’t move right or left without the boat almost toppling over. After many near turnovers, they got their bearings and they were pushed further out into the lake. But then something strange started to happen. The longer that the boat was in the water, the less wobbly it got as it sunk deeper and deeper into the water. But as it got lower in the water, it became less unsteady and easier to maneuver.

Sinking ships don’t float

The boy at the back had thought to bring a bucket and started frantically bailing water. I wasn’t sure if they would make it back to shore. It was touch and go there for a while. With two boys trying to paddle, one boy bailing, and a girl standing in the middle of it all. And some curious kayakers floating around the boat wondering what this contraption was. Finally, Will got out of the boat and pushed it to shore.

What is success?

Can you hear them in the video? They are seeing where things didn’t work and then discussing what they should do next time. They are not embarrassed that they tried! They are just looking at what they can change next time.

So my question is what is failure? Was this a failure? And if so was it a waste of time, wood, and unfinished homework? I think this was a rousing success. Sometimes, we set goals, and then when we don’t quite get there we call the whole project a failure. But what if the victory is in the trying? What if your goal is to sail across the ocean and you only make it halfway? What if your goal is to make a million $ but you only make $1000? What if your goal is to lose 50 pounds and you only lose 5? Are all of these things failures? Many will say yes.

But I disagree. I believe that to fail is to give up. To have had a great idea and then not making that idea come alive is failing. Maybe it isn’t perfect the 1st or the 10,000th time but we keep trying until it becomes something.

One of the kids there said, “It’s better than the Titanic!” Way to be optimistic!

What I learned from a sinking ship

So what is failure? Failure is quitting after something didn’t go right. Failure is not learning from the experience. There were so many lessons learned. Here are just a few.

Just start and see what happens.
Set goals that are out of your reach.
Gather your friends and have some fun creating something amazing.
If it doesn’t work, collect data, and try again.

What are you not doing because you are afraid to fail? Would you quit making plans and just start?

Are you setting goals that are easy for you and you don’t have to stretch and grow to get close to?

What are you not trying because of what others might think of you? What would happen if you asked them to join you?

Are you looking at what is working and what’s not working and making adjustments for next time?

I challenge you today to try something new today whether it be writing a blog post or building a boat or whatever you feel inspired to create! You will be better for it!

How to get unstuck

by Cindy Bayles | Jan 25, 2019 | Doodle Art Therapy Blog, Goals, LDS

Getting Unstuck

During this last week, my husband, Lyle and I lead a tow truck up the mountain to our very stuck truck. It was so stuck that after hours of work and broken equipment the only answer was to call a professional that had better equipment. (Let me assure you, my husband is almost as close to a professional as you can get when it comes to getting stuck and unstuck.)

After arriving the tow truck operator and Lyle got to work getting our truck out. The truck was up to the doors in mud. After a few minutes, the tow truck was stuck too. The tow truck operator thought that he could just ease himself up to the front bumper of the truck and pull us out. But instead he immediately sunk. An hour later, after much digging and pushing and pulling, the tow truck was ready to take on the task.

So, they set to work on pulling our truck out. They dug and pulled and dug and pulled. It almost looked hopeless until we started to see the tiniest bit of movement and then another tiny bit of movement. Finally the truck was sitting on the solid road.

This week Sister Funk, one of my teachers at BYU-Idaho sent us her thoughts on the following article Try this for a change: 4 Simple Steps to Self Improvement. I so appreciate her thoughts each week. They have been exactly what I have needed. And this week was no exception.

But Why Can’t I Have It Right Now?

I am guilty of wanting to get to the end or to the final goal right now. I am impatient with the process that I have to go through to get to the final outcome. For example, I am in school right now, and all I can see is the final goal of graduating. That is good to some extent but when I am distracted from what is going on right here and now it becomes a problem. In my mind if I take more classes, I will get done faster. But the problem with that kind of thinking is that then my family, my marriage, my health, my job, and my schooling are all affected. I don’t have enough time to devote to all of them and so something gets neglected. And then I find myself stuck. So stuck that I am getting others stuck with me.

Getting Unstuck

How do I get unstuck?

In the article Try this for a change: 4 Simple Steps to Self Improvement, Sean Johnson suggests we need to ask for direction. This is the same thing that Laurel Christensen refered to in her book titled “The Faith Experiment”. It is a constant theme running through my thoughts and life lately. In Elder Larry R. Lawrence’s talk title “What Lack I Yet?” in October 2015 General Conference, he encourages us to go to humbly go to the Lord and ask him what is keeping us from progressing and then to wait for an answer. The trick here is to act upon the inspiration we get immediately and see what happens. Too many times in my life, I ask but then think I know better. What you say? You think you know more than God? I know I have a lot of work to do. But I keep on trying.

Never Give Up. Keep on Keeping On.

Sean Johnson’s article also referenced another Conference talk from April 2015 by David G. Renlund titled Latter Day Saints Keep on Trying. I loved this talk in every way possible. Please take some time to read it. He quotes President Monson as having taught, “One of God’s greatest gifts to us is the joy of trying again, for no failure ever need be final.” What a beautiful promise that is. Too often we give up after getting stuck once, twice, or too many times to be counted. We tell ourselves we are not good enough, that we can’t do it, and we are failures. And we stay stuck because it feels easier and we give up the freedom we could have if we took one little baby step at a time. One little movement towards freedom. One little hand reaching out to God for help.

Getting unstuck

Elder Renlund’s Invitation to Us

I love how Elder Renlund ends his talk:

“My invitation to all of us is to evaluate our lives, repent, and keep on trying. If we don’t try, we’re just latter-day sinners; if we don’t persevere, we’re latter-day quitters; and if we don’t allow others to try, we’re just latter-day hypocrites. As we try, persevere, and help others to do the same, we are true Latter-day Saints. As we change, we will find that God indeed cares a lot more about who we are and about who we are becoming than about who we once were.“

So today, I commit to enjoy the process of getting unstuck. To not be frustrated with my current circumstances, but to ask God “What Lack I Yet?”. So that I can see clearly what I need to get myself out of this current predicament. And then ask again “What Lack I Yet?” And then again. Until I am finally firmly on solid ground again. Where I can then look back and see how far I have come. And rejoice in the process of becoming someone that I never knew was possible and someone that I will never be again.